Dear Friends and Family,
Rrrrrow! Trip the Cat here. You’ve probably never seen a holiday letter from a cat like me before, but this morning I was awake at 3:00 (more on that later) and it occurred to me that I hadn’t seen my Meowmie write any Christmas cards yet. So I walked across her head a few times to wake her up, and then I asked her if I could write to all her friends for Christmas because it seemed like she might be a little bit behind with that. She said I might as well, since she was far too lazy to do it, and then she said a few other words that might not actually reflect the seasonal cheer I’m sure she’s feeling right now and rolled over and went back to sleep.
Whatever! I, TripCat (also known as Fat Boy, which is just bananas – I’m fluffy, not fat. There’s a difference. But I digress), am on the job.
It’s been an interesting year around these parts for me and my sister-cat Emony and my brother-cat (ptui) Jake. Meowmie has been very busy writing at her office job and also at home. (I like to jump up and sit on her keyboard while she’s writing. She uses some very interesting and creative words whenever I do that, so I think I must be helping her, don’t you?) In addition to her long-standing gigs at Heroes and Heartbreakers and Bookbub, she got her old job at Geek Speak back. She hasn’t written anything about how awesome we cats are yet, but I just know it’s only a matter of time!
My Handsome Paw, also known as the Handsome Husband, has been busy with his job and his musical pursuits. He was super excited to see The Doubleclicks and – wait for it – Kraftwerk live in concert this year. He talked Meowmie into going along both times and she had a blast!
Mini-Me is looking into high schools in the area right now. (I know, right? I remember when she was a little funny-smelling bundle. Meowmie is having trouble dealing with this, just sayin’.) She’s down to two choices: the really good TOTALLY FREE one, and the certainly more than adequate but expensive one. Guess where she’s likely to end up? (For Reasons, according to Meowmie.) But whatever. Mini-Me is busy with basketball, band, and reading every young adult-ish fantasy/semi-sci-fi-/dystopian novel that crosses her path. There are…a few of those. She reads a lot, is what I’m saying here.
Hoot, meanwhile, has grown like the kitten that he is. He is taller than both Meowmie and Mini-Me – silly, because he’s the youngest of all! That would be like Emony or (ptui) Jake being bigger than me. Ha! But there you go. He was on the Rec League All-Star team in the spring, and he played summer ball as well. Now he’s on his school basketball team and is doing very well. He even read a couple of books he liked this year! (The books are called HOLES and WONDER. Parents of 12-year-old boys, we totally recommend these awesome books!)
To the complete disgust of us kitties, the family kept leaving us alone for weeks at a time this year. First they traveled all the way across the country to visit friends in Seattle and Portland. They said they had a lot of fun there and made friends with other kitties and also some chickens! Then they went to Pittsburgh, where – apparently – they ate pierogies, drank wine, sat in traffic, and encountered famous baseball players.
THEN they went to Paw’s nephew’s wedding in Charlottesville, Virginia and did the Whip Nae-Nae. (I keep telling Meowmie “Pics or it didn’t happen,” but she just rolls her eyes at me.) And THEN Meowmie ran away all by herself to New Orleans and ate fish every day. WHY DON’T I GET TO EAT FISH EVERY DAY? She’s just Meowmie. I am a CAT. Anyway, she said she liked New Orleans and the food was great but it was too danged warm.
Too warm? NO SUCH THING.
As for me, well. It’s so kind of you to inquire. I have a new hobby: singing grand opera! I like to practice in the middle of the night, when it’s quiet. I know I’m doing pretty well because whenever I begin an aria, either Meowmie or Handsome Paw leaps out of bed, claps his (or her) hands really hard, and absolutely roars in approval! Jake (ptui) is my Muse. Whenever I see him, I’m moved to burst into full-throated song: “ROW-row-row-row-rooooooooooow-ROW-rooooOOOOOOWwww.” Step aside, Pavarotti. There’s a new divo in town!
2016 was not without its sadnesses, of course. Our family lost Paw’s mother after a long illness, and my own brother-cat Benjamin, who crossed the Rainbow Bridge at the distinguished age of 18 or 19 (depending on whose memories you’re relying upon). We miss them every day and speak of them often.
On the other hand, we’re getting a new neighbor! Meowmie says he’ll live just a few miles away in a big White House and he has orange hair. She refers to him as That Man. She doesn’t sound nearly as excited as I am. A new friend with orange hair! Wow! – as long as he doesn’t try to steal my kibble, of course, because That Will Not Stand. (I’m looking in your direction right now, JAKE. Ptui.)
But overall, life is pretty good. Meowmie is a little worried about our new neighbor, but you and I (and all kitties everywhere) know that as long as you have a full tummy, a clean litterbox, and a shaft of warm sunlight to nap in, you’re ahead of the game. I wish you all of that and more, dear friends. Meow-y Christmas – or, if you don’t celebrate Christmas, the very warmest wishes of the Season to you. I hope your 2017 is purr-fectly wonderful.
Love and headbutts,