Let’s not hold back: This week sucks. Fuck this week. On Sunday, I and everybody else awoke to the unwelcome news that 49 innocent people were gunned down by a nutjob in Orlando — and really, it doesn’t matter whether the asshole was into radical Islam, radical feminism, radical Libertarianism, free radicals, or whatever because FUCK HIM, he took 49 innocent lives and I can only hope that when he crossed over to the Other Side he was met with a surprise — say, God or Saint Peter or some angel, garbed in glory, looking down their sacred nose and saying “Yeah, no. NEXT.”
In case you were wondering, I find myself disturbingly short on compassion for this…individual.
Then Donald Trump opened his big orange mouth, and for the first time since this most singular election season began, I felt frightened. Not because he’s a few keys short of a piano, because that goes without saying. But this time, he sounded unhinged in a way that he really hasn’t before, and what’s more, so many people are agreeing with him. Guys, what if he’s our next president? No, really. What if he’s elected?
And then the news broke about a family in Florida, hanging out by the beach, having a good time, and then TOTALLY RANDOMLY an alligator popped out of the water and snatched up their toddler and swept him away. As I write this, the poor little guy’s remains have just been found. Totally random. How do you guard against a freak gator attack on the beach? You don’t. You can’t. How frightened he must have been. I can’t even imagine the hell his parents are going through and frankly I don’t want to.
For this reason, I have elected to fortify myself by compiling the following list of things that make me happy. These may not be the things that make you happy. But contemplating them cheers me up, and I share them with you in case you need cheering up too.
Here’s Lin-Manuel Miranda snuggling his baby.
Here is my favorite half-price supermarket wine.
Here, the Bothy Band performs a lovely piece called “Butterfly.”
And here are the funniest scenes from a magnificent film called What We Do in the Shadows.
Behold: Divine Lupita Nyong’o at the 2016 Tony Awards.
Here, Oscar Isaac snuggles a puppy.
Jason Isaacs (no relation to Oscar Isaac) smolders.
Michelle Yeoh kicks ass always and forever.
Now that I feel a smidge better, it’s your turn. Share what cheers you up in the comments!